self-managing my time

We all have key roles to play when it comes to protecting our own health but all self-care, self-management, and self-parenting are, is becoming aware and being able to treat and manage your own mental health and wellbeing. To begin self-care it has to be initiated by the individual who requires it by managing their self and time better.

Time is the greatest resource we have that there never seems to be enough of or it passes too quickly. It is how we measure the passage of time representing the present as being between the past and future. There is nothing we can do to slow it down or get more of it, we have as much or as little as life presently allows, so making the most of it is vital.

Time is a continuous process of progression from the past, through the present and into the future. All we can do with the time we have is to get the most out of it. There are many ways where one goes about getting the most out of their day but without time management skills, you may be setting yourself up for failure time and time again.

We all want to accomplish more, procrastinate less and free up time for non-work related activities such as family days out or personal care.

Planning is a must to get the most effective use out of your time. Self-management involves time management so planning your day the night before, writing down things you need to do the next day and the steps it takes in order to accomplish the tasks and goals you need to achieve, could be more beneficial.

Gathering any information like phone numbers, paperwork or items required so you’re prepared and less likely to forget something allows for better organisation. The best tips to improve time-management consists of delegating, planning and prioritising, setting goals to work towards or that are achievable, meet deadlines, stay organised, find your productive time and minimise stress.

Sometimes we don’t notice where we are wasting time (procrastinating) or bringing on unnecessary stress by trying to juggle or take on more than we should. Self-care is often the time that is first to go and when this happens a sluggish cycle is likely to take its place, altering your mindset to think, act or behave differently.

We can put ourselves off doing any task for many a cluster of reasons, you may not know where to start, dislike it, understand it, lack confidence in your abilities to accomplish the task or worry about the outcome. Whatever the reason avoiding it creates anxiety that is getting no one anywhere. This, in turn, has knock-on effects that better management skills could have prevented.

More often than not it is better to just tackle the more worrying or difficult task first while you have the mental and physical strength to combat any unpleasantries that may or may not arise. Sometimes the hardest job is initially starting the task but not always, sometimes determination is the driving force alone that sees you through completion.

A good tip I plan on incorporating into my day-to-day living is prioritising and planning jobs the night before so I at least have some direction the next day. I often find whilst doing the easy or more enjoyable tasks first I’m constantly reflecting on the fact I have the bigger job in the back of my mind, like a dark permanent reminder.

I’m always focusing on the task I’m avoiding for whatever reason making everything seem much more challenging than it really is, creating unnecessary stress that then requires further management to get things back under control.

By prioritising tasks to start with the most difficult, more time-consuming or least pleasant given the environment fits the task, will allow for more effective and fulfilling results. By getting the one that elicits the more energy drainage out the way first will increase your motivation for what lays ahead, making the easy tasks feel that much more manageable and satisfying.

By spending some time looking into what you need to do with your time you may find someone else could do the job more effectively by delegating. They may enjoy it more depending on the skill level for the task in question, reducing the time and energy spent managing and thinking about that task. Therefore time is freed to complete other tasks that may require more skill or attention.

When delegating you must be careful not to consistently or frequently have others complete or help with jobs that you should be doing by yourself. This can create many problems so planning, prioritising and delegating require a balance that is considered manageable for the individual, groups or any other party involved.

A goal is a measurable objective that gives us something to work towards. Goals that are too easy won’t help keep us motivated but the ones that represent a challenge that isn’t too difficult, can. Having specific goals in life creates an order which keeps us motivated and working towards something

By setting goals to improve your time-management you can get a better understanding of what you are able to achieve in a day. You become more aware of your capabilities and what goals may have been too high or low, what was achieved and what wasn’t.

When it comes to organisation have a place for everything and put everything in its place. Have what you use more often closest to you and it may be worth setting aside a little time each day for organising.

You could write to-do lists, shred paperwork you no longer need or ensuring everything is in its place. Having a calendar or day planner can help remember important dates and deadlines.

By planning the time you need and keeping a record you will be less likely to forget or find yourself in the position where you have to drop everything in order to complete the objective.

Poor management of time creates unnecessary stress leading to more problems in the future, that could have been avoided. Stress creates anxiety and worry that can become distracting.

By not managing our time this can lead to a lot of stress and anxiety over completing tasks in a timely manner. To reduce stress we first have to figure out what is causing or creating it.

Is the issue at home, work or about a task or job that needs completing because once you figure out what the stressors are, it can be managed. Now that you know what is causing the stress you need to figure out what parts can be controlled and what can’t, break it down.

There will be some stressors that you can not control so you must either try to come up with a way to exert more control or to simply ignore the issue and focus on the parts of the stressors you can control.

Unfortunately, there will be some stress you cannot control therefore focusing on reducing stress physically would be another step you could take. This entails dedicating time to self-manage oneself by getting appropriate sleep, being physically active and eating a balanced diet that is right for you.

Some tips for improving sleep are to reduce distractions, very dark, quiet, going to bed and waking up the same time every day, avoid caffeine late in the day. Before going to bed try relaxing in a warm bath, listen to soothing music, reduce worry by writing a list of things to do the next day.

A common reason for struggling with time management is because we take on to many obligations because of the feeling we can’t say no.

We do this sometimes when we have little time but want to help others, we feel guilty for saying no or have simply misjudged the time we had.

It may feel good at the time to have said yes but have you considered what the actual commitment is?

How much time, effort and energy it will take?

Is it a good use of your time?

If not you could be agreeing to something that takes much longer than first anticipated, thus creating stress, worry and anxiety unnecessarily, that could have been avoidable and manageable.

For those that struggle to say no even when they know they should there are four steps to try help counteract this problem

  1. offer the other person a reason for why you are declining so as not to cause confusion, or make the other person think you are just being selfish or lazy
  2. Be tactful so as not to cause any hurt or anger.
  3. You could suggest an alternative that takes less time, creating another option.
  4. Say no as soon as possible, don’t take time to think that may create more problems if you know you are going to probably have to say no.

I studied ways of improving time management a few years back and thought I’d share my refresher course for those that may find it of use.  I struggle with my executive function skills when I lack consistency, concentration, and focus.

I need to pay more acute attention in these areas because the way I am managing my time at the moment isn’t very beneficial all round. As I continue to work on my self-management things should improve becoming much more manageable.

source of writing www.naturalempathiser.com – feature photo by pixabay

Further reading

  1. Taking care of yourself whilst taking care of others
  2. Sympathy and empathy created the literal word empathiser
  3. Looking into the word individual
  4. Saturday 1st September 2018; Splitting hairs between emotions and feelings

Sympathy and empathy created the literal word empathiser

How many can relate to the words seen, felt, or heard from books, movies, or people such as, looking at heaven living through hell? Everyone at some point past, present and future will have felt the desperation or burning desire to separate themselves, from their reality.

When I’m doing the biggest sprint or long distance marathon around the circumference of mine, or another’s black hole (anxiety and depression), I find answers whilst looking at questions, regardless if they are accepted in all perceived perceptions or not, it becomes irrelevant.

With me as the focus, this is my life where I have dependents and not just the ones I’ve created, so being a sympathiser and an empathiser are essential in relation to being able to express, feel and understand empathy and sympathy, where I once may have been lacking depending on how you choose, want, or are able, to perceive it.

I am a reader at heart which is my obsession and place of solace, a deep intuitive thinker and these words are stemmed from that alongside, research and life through comparison, expressed through me.  I am diagnosed ADHD but have Autistic traits amongst other possible labels.

I now believe I do have an understanding and answer I am content with, alongside a way of explaining a 30-year long conundrum personally relating to myself and my mental health with regards to the words empathy and sympathy, or empathise and sympathise, or ………. and sympathiser, in a literal sense.

The ‘natural empathiser’ is a communication platform in a virtual sense, another extension created from the workings of my brain.

By explaining, understanding, and attempting to communicate my internal language and way of thinking externally, I hope others on a similar journey or coincidingly aiding with mine, can gain deeper understanding and insight.

Verbal communication is not always the most effectively useful method to use for myself and others, therefore I can become selfish and dependant on words in every scope and sense.

I write for myself and now others to mull, sympathise or empathise with, as my opinions and views are influenced and changed, through mine and others experiences

This is my fight for survival and at times I can assure you, my way will not be of the ‘norm’ or completely orthodox to the system one may desire me to fit.  This is the only way I know how, that saves myself and others with the desire and drive to survive, each and every time, unraveling the tangle so too speak.

My way of thinking intriguingly frustrates and influences others that I have met, causing them to think in ways that elicit feelings of both empathy and sympathy simultaneously, depending on mine or their, mindset.

I do this as I try to understand and explain the individuality, which has many a confusing contradiction.  I am currently trying to learn to control, manipulate or brace for impact in more effectively resourceful, and beneficial outcomes for all.

Sometimes I can be extremely sympathetic or empathetic, eventually resulting in neither.  This can have positive and negative impacts for myself and others, who may or may not be comfortable in that setting.  We can become influenced in how we think, behave, or understand the exchanges or events that have took place.

I don’t know what I believe but there is one thing I always settle myself on, which I need to change to my constant.  That would be equilibrium, a balance which is a course of action, a way of seeing or a way of thinking, that I will not allow my eyes or ears to be deceived, the cost is too great.

It would be a lot easier in an ignorant sense if I did, and I may appear to be temporarily doing just that, at times.  I have learnt the true meaning to the words, you can’t run from yourself.

More often than not if you do, there is a trail of destruction and aftermath left that is no easy task for the faint-hearted, to repair, fix and move on from.

As time passes I understand more and more some things are unexplainable in one sense whilst being, predictably ignorant but yet aware at the same time, in another.

If I allow myself to hide behind where I have been deceived or ignorant to in the past I become disabled, my awareness enables me because shutting down is my disease.

The answers do live indefinitely, and sometimes, we have to simply face it because we can not change it, which is a reality we all have to accept at times.

I become sick and tired trying to work out, how many questions is it going to take to find me?

I am Natural regardless because I am a human being, a product of, or from mother nature, naturally conceived and as far as I am aware, naturally delivered into this world.  This is where many a lesson has been taught in some extreme ways, bringing me to an understanding in more depth and scope.

I do not believe I was brought into this world with what we have seen, as a majority wiring in the brain.  This is just a theory with no actual visual proof of sorts, but there may possibly be one day, who knows.

I have researched and played around with the words empathy and sympathy more acutely, coming to the realisation that once upon a time I could explain and understand empathy and sympathy, but unable to feel and express it in ways deemed ‘the norm’

The word ‘Empathiser ‘as far as I’m aware is not a recognised word in the English language or Oxford dictionary, that is why I have declared myself one as no one seems to recognise me.

We have a sympathiser which is a person who agrees or supports a sentiment, opinion, or ideology.  I learnt to be a sympathiser in the extreme sense throughout my tweens to younger adolescents.

When I had my children I learnt to be an……..

Empathiser – which is a person who understands or explains through comparison, a sentiment, opinion or ideology.

Well at least my interpretation, definition, and meaning of the word, therefore allowing me to say I am neither empathy nor sympathy, I’m something else entirely when splintering.

What I hope and plan to achieve is placing my internal scales the majority of the time, at a balance. slightly tilting when necessary.  This is my strive through sheer will, determination and focus for equilibrium on a personal level.

I know I will achieve this eventually more often, as I do manage to achieve it naturally on occasions, with a little help from other people.

I have come to the realisation life isn’t easy for anyone at times, sometimes, there are not enough words to make a sentence for someone else to understand and explain.  This can challenge things even further, making it even harder to find your way.

A survivor of life against a deadly disease we relate to as cancer once said these words to me, that have played over in my head time and time again, (a triggered thought when the situation links, and everything falls in line.)

She said to me ‘there has to be a heaven, because we are all ready living in hell’, she wasn’t just talking about the disease or treatment eating away at her, but everything in her life and others she was aware, to date.

I once had life described as hell which in too many a sense, its a close replica to what I have learnt and seen, interpreted from the word.    The emotional highs and lows that we feel on this obstacle we call life vary in a dynamically fascinating, sometimes unexplainable in a logical or rational way.

How one begins explaining depends on the steps you’ve taken, the sights you’ve seen and the experiences you have had that may or may not, coincide with another

Doesn’t matter who, what or where you are, anyone regardless of the circle or class their from can stumble upon the long road, crossroad, or slams straight into a barricade in their life.

This can be because of anything, everything, and whatever is in between, because every single human being can become overwhelmingly complicated, threatening to engulf if given the chance.

We all question ourselves, our integrity and pride, often described and linked to self-destructive tendencies one may say.  Regardless, it has knock-on effects for oneself and another, impacting self-esteem and confidence.

I do not know how to put myself first or even think about myself before others anymore, because I was told I done it to the extreme once upon a time, so my problem seems to be a contrasting one that I’m beginning to rectify.

I’m the living breathing organism that is smoke and mirrors, by focusing on other problems, I can detach from myself essentially, hiding or avoiding.

I find it’s easier helping someone else, distracts and gives me a reprieve from my internal prison of damnation.

I’m always trying to keep those closest happy without realising, by forgetting about myself it has knock-on effects.  One, in particular, is the influences on what I put out, more often than not getting nothing back in return, causing me to lose faith in myself and others.

What I’m beginning to understand is how much I’m hurting myself, and those closest in the long run.  I used to say when I was on a one-way ticket to the place my demons go, no one should have to witness, be a part of or a bystander in, without understanding you may end up losing yourself in the process, and I stand by it.

I have been reminded that silence is not always the best option but neither is too many words.  If I don’t like, agree or see sense in it I will express it, because I’m sick and tired of imploding till eventually, I explode.

This cycle is far too unpredictably predictable and can leave many a casualty or survivor.  As time passes and I’m taught better ways to communicate, hopefully, my word choices get better verbally, controlling the balance of melting and shutting down.

I don’t have to burn inside when I don’t have enough words to make a sentence verbally, because my mind is working way to fast to find the right way.  Sometimes there is no one size fits all, right or wrong way solution.  The only option is to learn how to lessen, prepare, or avoid the impact.

www.naturalempathiser.com for more reading, understanding, and depth – feature photo by pixabay

Further Reading

  1. Monday 16th October 2018 – Pondering life and one of the pieces that is empathy
  2. Taking care of yourself whilst taking care of others
  3. Looking into the word individual

Pondering life and one of the pieces that is empathy

I decided to take a much-needed break with the family to get away from my day-to-day living.  Things seem to be piling on top of me where I needed a temporary change to shake things up.

It was hectic as took my other half’s mother along as well who hasn’t been away for a break in years and years, but we all enjoyed the reprieve.  My anxiety is still being a bit of a pest and my imagination is getting the better of me and unfortunately, at times it’s becoming physical symptoms, but it will pass.

Now that I am back my mind is taking a little time to settle because I met a mass range of different people, whose stories have so much raw emotional truth it was a little overwhelming.

I met a young girl who bet me at the conga line the first night, that had me belly laughing the night away.  Over the course of the next few days, our two sons played brilliantly.  My son has only just recently in the last couple of months started interacting with others more.

I learnt on the 3rd night that she has to sign with her son when he was apologising to my son, I assumed he was deaf then the story unraveled the final night.  It put truth to the saying don’t judge a book by the cover, you don’t know the story.

It also got me thinking how we don’t teach lessons to children on understanding emotions in this day and age in the school curriculum, despite there being growing expectations on society to understand it.

Her son is suspected to have Autism and I could understand why when she started filling in the gaps to the story.  He did not speak when he was younger, no noises or babbling and he had never played with someone, not the way he was wth my son.

She says her son is able to feel empathy and has shown on occasion that he can, I also learnt that the only way a pressure cuddle relieves this boy is by lying on his back when he is face down, then he will calm down.

She also expressed how confusing the journey was and how contradicting the advice sounds at times, her son has a speech and language therapist amongst many others. In my opinion, her children were well cared for, managed, and, behaved regardless of the fact she was a young mum with a disabled child, who had her first at 17 who is now 21.

The reason I have brought that up is because of a story she told me from her previous holiday the year before, where her son took an extreme meltdown banging his head off the floor.  A lady a fair few decades older just came up and said to her that’s what happens when children have children.

I was a decade older than this girl but she put my organisation to shame, she was prepared for all aspects of behavioural issues that may have arisen, regardless of her age, I learnt a thing or two from her.

This boy fit the stereotype or core consistent ways of behaving, acting and thinking commonly seen in those under 3 with autism.  They played and interacted brilliantly despite there being the language barrier, it was nice seeing my son come out of his shell.

I used to wonder if my children were Autistic, especially my son as he had more traits than my daughter but the more I learn the more I realise yes we have a lot of traits but that may not necessarily be the right label.

I noticed my social skills are adequate even if I have to play the wolf in sheep’s clothing at times, I can still manage these interactions and not that I have lost the skill that took years to develop.

I can do this by reading the body language, energy and listening to the words coming from the individual I’m conversating with, I can manipulate, steer or remove myself from conversations I don’t feel comfortable with and enjoy the ones I do.

My anxiety and imagination keep getting the better of me at points but manageable. It’s spiking and becoming more visually detailed, especially at night when I’m trying to shut down, interfering with my day.

I’m now getting physical symptoms that are becoming noticeable to those who know me but still able to cover these from those that don’t.

This means I am not controlling it as much as I would like and if I don’t get it under control, I run the risk of falling back into the depression and self-critical thinking that leads to poor self-care and procrastination, for this individual.

A downward spiral I’d rather avoid.

Fear is closely linked to anxiety and when you have dependants it isn’t so easy to avoid your worst fears from coming to life in your head once you allow them to creep in and set roots.

There is so much out with our control to be fearful of, that putting these thoughts to the back of the mind isn’t so easy for many, regardless.  It takes self-management to control them before they get the better of you, even then they still linger.

Your body temperature rises as your heart rate quickens where you feel the vibrations from the palpitations pulsating at the ears, a clammy cold sheen of sweat coating the skin, all from the power of your imagination and way of thinking.

This is when things become catastrophised and your mind jumps to worst case scenarios although they may be plausible they are unlikely to happen.

These days I have this way of thinking more under control but when the thoughts appear they can be harder to suppress with reason, becoming more graphically detailed and harder to shake them out.

It’s my body reacting to the chemicals being produced as my flight or fight reactors kick in but it’s happening unnecessarily causing me to react, think and behave differently.

Makes no sense to have a fear of your thoughts which you have control over, which led me to another. I’ve been trying to change my way of thinking to two steps forward, one step back meaning stepping into my present then my future, only dipping into my past, so I did just that.

I saw my present needed attention, planned for this to happen in the future which has now past and I’m reflecting back on.

I once described my life as being smashed into pieces but bit by bit, piece by piece I’m beginning to restore it, the originality still there but becoming something else.

I have been on so many a self-destructive cycles only occasionally jumping off the loop for some time now as the clock goes tick tock, that I have no other choice but to place change on the horizon, that is self-manageable.

I am rebuilding the walls that I thought was the problem that I began dismantling a few years ago piece by piece, I have now learnt that was not the case.

The walls had to come down or else I would carry on being oblivious to how those around me feel, but enough is enough as now I have no protection leaving me vulnerable.

I was reading a comment that I was not able to reply to the way I wanted as it was a pondering thought that I haven’t found the words to explain yet. It was about empathy which once upon a time I was unable to execute to the level I do now.

I wrote about empathy and sympathy in this article Sunday 19th August 2018; Looking at heaven living through hell that explains the words and my way of thinking in more detail

I call myself the natural empathiser….

I am natural because I am human but the word empathiser does not exist in the English dictionary.

I do not claim to naturally be able to be empathetic I don’t think anyone is born this way. I’m worse at being sympathetic because I come across as dramatically theatrical, not so good at expressing emotions in ways deemed the ‘norm’.

Empathiser didn’t exist and since no one seems to be able to recognise me I found it fitting. My definition of it is to understand and explain through comparison an opinion, ideology or sentiment, which is what I naturally do. Therefore I am neither empathy or sympathy but I learnt to be an empathiser and a sympathiser.

I do not believe anyone naturally feels empathy, to begin with, some learn it earlier on in life than others but I think it is something that is taught.

You have the ideology, sentiment or opinion explained, you are compared to other human beings as your parent/carer tries to get you to understand, to be empathetic and considerate to others.

As time progresses experience, life and the lessons we are taught teach us through trial and error to feel empathy to some level for others, a part of personal growth that varies depending on the individual.

I am beginning to believe we can be selective in what we choose to give thought to for a vast and varied amount of reasons.  For too long now I have pondered and been frustrated by the word empathy.

A common opinion I have been reading is we are not born with it but have the capabilities and potential to learn to understand others throughout the course of life

What’s your thoughts or opinion on empathy?

Do you think it is a part of development or something you are born with?

Do you think empathy is something you are taught or feel it naturally?

Whatever your point of view I’d like to read it 🙂

Source of writing http://www.naturalempathiser.com – feature photo by  www.naturalempathiser.comSharon McCutcheon

Further reading

  1. Looking into the word individual
  2. Catastrophising; worst case scenario at an extreme
  3. Taking care of yourself whilst taking care of others
  4. Sunday 19th August 2018; Looking at heaven living through hell

Taking care of yourself whilst taking care of others

Making or changing things seems a lot harder than keeping the old habits but eventually after it becomes a bit mindlessly repetitively simple, these small changes will become daily occurrences without even thinking about it, with long-term benefits

I believe anything can become a habit or repetitive thing we do, for example waking up every day having breakfast, getting washed, brushing your teeth, brushing your hair and getting dressed, prepared for what the day brings.

Say you are demotivated, depressed or anxious you might forget to take the morning steps you used to. You’re still in your PJ’s, uncaring or motivated with the thoughts of these tasks which only feed the negative feelings further, possibly having no intention of going out that day…

What do you do then?

This is where you have to become mindful whether caring for yourself or another but you have to recognise and become aware of the risks from thinking or behaving this way, that may be damaging or causing error in yourself or another

When we are taking care of something or someone we are paying special attention or effort to ensure it is not damaged, put at risk or error. Care can also be when the local authorities take responsibility for a child instead of the parents, which I have experienced.

Care is the process of protectively minding or being minded, it’s looking after someone, something or self-care. This could bring to life feelings that make oneself become worried or anxious. I came across the word keeper which is associated with care meaning harmony and agreement with.

Care is about control, management, protection, supervision and guardianship to name but a few. When I talk about control I mean the power to influence people’s behaviours or the course of the event.

When talking personally taking control over the way I think, act and behave is removing many restricting factors that a negative mindset once allowed. I’m working hard to change these for those that I care for and those that care for me.

We give this courtesy to our children, partner, friendships and so forth but often never think to give it to ourselves putting ourselves at risk of personal neglect.

So what is care yet again another word with so many surrounding and linking words but is about being bothered or having an interest. By looking more acutely at just one word ‘care’ I have found more answers.

When we are looking after someone or something we are caring or being cared for eliciting feelings simultaneously of worry, anxiety, and affection.

We can become anxious because we are worried or nervous due to unwelcomed things that might have happened or may happen, causing eagerness to have or do something about it.

Trying to keep ourselves or another safe from harm or injury is the hardest protection of all and the one that elicits feelings of fear to name just one, creating a chain reaction requiring care.

Care is a constant supervision where you are continuously carrying out tasks, jobs or work done to ensure everything is completed correctly.

It is a cycle that needs to be on a never-ending loop. I have spent so long trying to become unstuck I jumped of a cycle I never should have, and that is the one where we take care of ourselves as well.

Guardianship is about defending and protecting which sometimes we don’t have someone to do that for us.

Therefore we are required to learn the methods, skills, and techniques to equip us to be able to do that for ourselves and those we are able and those who are willing, to help.

When it comes to any form of care where it’s for someone else, yourself or something else, caution has to be taken to take care to avoid danger or mistakes. We may do this by paying heed in a cautiously sensible way whilst taking special care to take notice and consideration to things that might help.

We could become overly or underly prudent where all that caution and sensibility gets us stuck or shackled. Could be the opposite where a lack of prudence becomes untamed, hoping to be tameable.   This can cause us to worry and become troubled or bothered over unwelcomed things that have happened or may happen.

We can become annoyed and disturbed by this creating stress, anxiety, and tension. Caring for someone, something or someone can be a source of anxiety that is best learnt to manage.

When we are taking something or someone into consideration we are giving it careful thought such as thoughtfulness towards other people or where we take a fact into account when making a decision.

Taking care of ourselves involves all versions and ways of looking at the word care, even the ones I have not included. We have to mindfully look after ourselves by watching over, protecting, tending, or nursing ourselves back to a healthy mind set.

How we handle or deal with this, learn to manage or cope with it all depends on the individual. At the bottom of the article, I will include links to some articles that give more suggestions on how one goes about initiating self-care in more detail, I focused on care more acutely in this writing.

One of the first steps in self-care is being out the door ready each day whether in your comfy or feel good clothes it’s the start to combat a lack of motivation, drive and focus. One of the hardest to motivate is depression, anxiety or self-critical behaviour but forcing oneself to do these actions is a must.

You can access an article here A trio for self-destruction: self-hatred, anxiety, and depression on these mental health problems.

Some of the therapeutic activities I came across entailed personal-care as a highly important aspect to care. Relaxation could be anything from going for a walk, listening to music or yoga which I tried and enjoyed but lacked consistency.

Keeping your body fuelled and hydrated healthy through a well-balanced diet will give you the strength to get through your day. It allows you to keep physically and mentally active which is another tip I’m always reading about. Doing these each day will help with trying to get enough sleep by physically and mentally keeping yourself stimulated throughout the day leading into your evening.

Mindfulness is about paying heed, becoming aware and recognising what’s around you in all areas able. Learning how to take your own feelings into consideration alongside how others feel is a skill one can learn to improve that benefits all. An inner balance is achievable by recognising and accepting where needs work and where you already have the skills.

Getting out into nature can be a source of anxiety for some but the more accustomed you come to doing it allows for relaxation, mindfulness and being physically active ticking a few of the list simultaneously.

The first source for Self-care comes from the website mind. Here it talks about ways for you to stay aware of your mental health, how to nourish your social life. Just click the link to the website to take a look www.mind.org.uk

There are articles about trying peer support and making time for some of the therapeutic activities discussed above alongside looking after your physical health and how to contact specialist organisations.

The second source that I was grateful for is a really useful table available on Dr. Perry’s website where it has snapshot tips for self-care on an emotional, physical, spiritual, mental, practical and social level which was really useful for a quick reminder and some new ideas.

Learning how to manage how we care is essential not only for ourselves but our dependants and those around us starting with ourselves, self-help

Source of writing www.naturalempathiser.com – feature photo by Daria Shevtsova

Further reading

  1. Catastrophising; worst case scenario at an extreme
  2. Looking into the word individual
  3. Friday 27th Septemeber 2018; Time to begin looking into how one goes about taking self-care?
  4. Heard of a midlife crisis but a quarter-life crisis, what is that?
  5. A trio for self-destruction: self-hatred, anxiety, and depression

1st June 2016; the process of becoming more aware

1st June 2016

My thoughts have slowed down more with the medication and I can feel myself calming helping me become more aware, whereas before I was ignorant.

This has been a horrific journey with more lows than highs.

Every morning I wake up my thoughts are racing and I try to process what’s going on.  That process is getting a lot easier.  I think I need a mood stabiliser because my mood swings have calmed, but are still affecting me and my family.

I am easily frustrated and irritated still and I feel fragile, I do not have a clue what has made me behave like that, but with help from a lot of sources, I’m beginning to get the better understanding.

At home, I am calmer and easier to be around, anxious for a lot of reasons.  I feel awkward talking to others because half the time, I’m trying not to get anxious over my communication.

My head races and my mouth can’t keep up so my words can become somewhat disorientated, leaving me and the person I am talking to, quite confused.

I hate being alone at night I become anxious as heck, checking and re-checking my windows and doors are locked up.

I’m a leader, not a follower but despite that when I was younger I used to try and be everyone else.  In fact, I spend so much time analyzing and dissecting the person, which can cause negative thought processes for the other person…..

Source of writing www.naturalempathiser.com – feature photo by  Gratisography

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