1st June 2016
My thoughts have slowed down more with the medication and I can feel myself calming helping me become more aware, whereas before I was ignorant.
This has been a horrific journey with more lows than highs.
Every morning I wake up my thoughts are racing and I try to process what’s going on. That process is getting a lot easier. I think I need a mood stabiliser because my mood swings have calmed, but are still affecting me and my family.
I am easily frustrated and irritated still and I feel fragile, I do not have a clue what has made me behave like that, but with help from a lot of sources, I’m beginning to get the better understanding.
At home, I am calmer and easier to be around, anxious for a lot of reasons. I feel awkward talking to others because half the time, I’m trying not to get anxious over my communication.
My head races and my mouth can’t keep up so my words can become somewhat disorientated, leaving me and the person I am talking to, quite confused.
I hate being alone at night I become anxious as heck, checking and re-checking my windows and doors are locked up.
I’m a leader, not a follower but despite that when I was younger I used to try and be everyone else. In fact, I spend so much time analyzing and dissecting the person, which can cause negative thought processes for the other person…..