Saturday 1st September 2018; Splitting hairs between emotions and feelings

Source of writing – feature photo by pixabay

We split hairs between emotion and feeling when we want more understanding, differentiation or depth on a personal or impersonal level.  They are interchangeable because an emotion is a strong feeling.

EQ and EI are both conversions and abbreviated from emotional intelligence.  EQ stands for emotional quotient, EI stands for emotional intelligence.  Put simply Emotional intelligence literates awareness and abilities to manage emotions.

Unfortunately, I lose the ability to do this sometimes as it appears, I haven’t focused a lot of time on this and is a detrimental weakness. I am trying to counteract this and rectify that but it is a lengthy process, that takes time

I fully intend to continue to improve my ’emotional intelligence’,  practice makes perfect as they say!? I always recite if first you don’t succeed, try, try, try again, you will get there in the end, but only if it’s realistic and within your capabilities.

Being able to take a step back, pause and objectively be aware of feelings, both your own and others will make for a more pleasant experience, but is not a skill easily accessible to some.

I refer to it like this as it is not my strongest suit personally. Many times, I’ve been stuck in this position, where conversation feels as pleasant as getting teeth pulled. Where small talk is so challenging you begin hoping, the ground would open up and swallow you up whole.

Another important aspect to emotional intelligence is also being able to reign in and direct emotions. My struggle more acutely is understanding how to express my emotions. I can be quite intense and intimidating at points, so I’ve been told.  I am now more aware, to which I was once ignorant.

In some ways I am brilliant and welcomed, but in others almost shunned and disowned.

I can be over and under aware at the same time of the other personal emotions surrounding me, especially if it doesn’t make sense. Considering emotions can be the most unpredictable and explainable to a certain degree, that’s not a good thing on my part.

When I become confused or uncomfortable I can come across angry or explosively out of control due to body language, energy and tones (which I thinks a little exaggerated). When anyone becomes like this, you can’t think clearly, least not to emotionally stable standards, we cannot make useful effective decisions consistently.

Hopefully I can get better at this with more understanding, knowledge and experience gathered already, possibly not accessed, and in time. If we become overly elated, it can be hard to stay on point.

Being able to recognise and reign in emotions allows for heedlessness, which is the ability to pay better attention. I mentioned before how we can all be guilty of becoming distracted, and not paying attention.

To those attached and in my inner circle, significantly unique in my perception of them, both personally and professionally…….

Your views and opinions matter to me and are held sacred. I am full of emotion, all kinds in every dynamic just like every person.  Where I find difficulty sometimes is expressing or communicating which becomes complicated, I have no problem feeling it.

I’m learning that I’m always sadder or happier especially internally, but over the years and through time I have learnt a lot of visible control, that’s necessarily shackling. It’s extremely challenging unless I let you in to notice, or slip in my control.

I seem to feel things on a deeper level internally, a true chameleon. I just put the mask on and ease the person closest comfort, and put mine on the back burner. It is extremely unhealthy to be honest but with hope and always taking a lesson, I manage.

My weight, mood more presently, and everything really, dropped to levels not felt this consciously aware before, this fight is getting harder. I say this as I had challenging teenage years, to say the least that stemmed into my adolescence.

Wild at heart would be an understatement, and a traumatic time for all my family and not just my history to share. Another story for another time, this is just reflecting on a surface, impenetrable presently, just keep reflecting back, unable to let you through, possibly due to trust.

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I enjoy writing and believe everyone has a story. I have hit a brick wall when searching for my own answers so, I have been looking at alternatives and becoming a blogger seems a good choice. No, we can't get answers to all our questions alone but, together the possibilities are endless

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