I have always gave the impression I rebel against the label, or so I have been led to believe, which is not entirely true. I just want more of an accurate or closer fitting one, given as wide a scope of the situation as possible for all parties involved or relevant to this exchange of information. This has led me down a very long complicated path, which at this present moment, seems to be more focused and orientated around Autism.
I now search for answers to questions such as where on the spectrum do I fit? What do the 4 categories results of the RAADS actually mean or tell ones-self and others? When do I start following the cookie trails in my medical records, or should I even do that? I can tell statistically and through research that this genre of writing seems to be needed, therefore I will continue to write what I discover on this journey, for all those interested, as I’m tired of hitting a brick wall due to time restraints, my disabilities or disorders and my gender.
My way of processing data seems to be, naturally categorise everything, for deeper analysis and understanding. Knowing what is relevant and irrelevant is a complicated process all humanity relates to and stumbles upon daily. They deal and react given there own unique coping mechanisms and abilities, accessible and relevant to the situation. I appear to put labels/categories on everything to help me remember and to put relevance, where there was possibly none, depending on where they fit in my head given that days abilities.
“There is definitely things I will never be able to do, but, I can learn new abilities to contradict the disabilities, where possible. I try to achieve this by creating better order, where I once may have been disorderly, to the best of my capabilities”
The overall score for yours truly was 171 on the RAADS diagnostic test, I’m a 30 year old female, in a long-term relationship, alongside being a mother to a preschool boy and a tween girl who given my knowledge and understanding meet autistic thresholds for Autism. I will retake soon and see what the results are. When I understand more of the words within the question, its relevance and what the results tell, or give insight into, for the clinician or those relevant, yourself included, I’ll post an article.
This piece of writing was spawned through the word reflect (naturally or methodically taught and embedded into my core foundation), based on a mirror image. I will shed more light as you progress through the readings of my words. This image I’m describing is often captured through humanistic lenses in ways that can be originally innovative. Some what like Pandora’s box, visually brought to life in all dimensions currently possible, revealing a jaw-dropping, eyepopping intuitive world, where the mountains float above us (featured image). Just like the blockbuster, I take great pleasure and insight inspired, or provided by, the deep depths of nature and life.
To me the real dimensionally innovative shapes, entice and manipulate empathy and understanding into odds, allowing us some insight into whether the scales tip in favour or not. Humanity and mother nature are forever interlocked in a constant battle for and against, which ever the majority or universe decides. By being resourcefully equipped and able to, manipulate the waves of positivity and negativity you at least have better odds in your favour.
I believe this is essential to regain focus on what truly matters, in an ongoing balancing act of personal awareness and self-growth, that is interchangeably entwined and governed by mother nature and humanities will. This in turn if looked upon with the foundations of the dual entity concept, where every action has a reaction, determining what will prosper, be preserved or inevitably perspire. We do this to achieve equilibrium in all and any achievable possibilities imaginable, and many not, because our actions impact something, somehow or someone, regardless that only after the event has passed do we become aware of to often.
There are so many different theories, insights and myths, with so many complimentary contrasting colours and trios, that hold a truth of sorts. That is mystically fascinating with capabilities to be intuitively insightful in a different sense. An area I’ve not had the time or pleasure, to educate myself in. I have spent to much time in the fantasy world of my books with the novels I have read in mass volume, usually hiding from my reality. Now I find myself learning about mental health, Autism and emotional intelligence to name but a few.
Maybe at the bonnie lochs of Scotland, where I feel an inner peace, at one with myself and my surroundings, I may source my answers. Something I’m learning about the natural beauty that surrounds us, is that it varies through age, time and evolution. Some dated well before my time, to points I do not have the education, knowledge or understanding to give an answer for, but possibly in the future.
For some problems I have found temporary solutions, but you or someone else may have already unconsciously or consciously stumbled upon, but never triggered, linked or voiced with the missing pieces, because it hasn’t been communicated to the relevant, individuals or specialists yet. I believe that communication is the root to the solution that may and often does come to late.
May that be because systems and protocols are to restricting or open, information being inaccessible to some, confused or overlooked, by complicating and over thinking the simple. The reasons are many because pieces are missing, just a piece or two means no consciously clarified closure to some, but when the solutions are found equilibrium can be achieved to the individuals needs and wants of life.
Some studies suggest that girls vary on how they score depending on their intelligence level. If it is low they tend to have more social communications impairment and lower cognitive ability. Higher intelligence they have fewer restricted interests so what does a female with higher levels of intelligence look like on the spectrum? Is this the reason it makes it harder for parents, teachers and doctors. Should I take my kids down the diagnosis process when it’s done a lot of harm and good personally? Do I want the stigmas and stereotypes, or do they even matter?
It is a well-known traditionally that Autism was thought of as a boy problem therefore, girls would not necessarily ever be looked at or linked to the condition. Studies show that there are four times as many boys diagnosed with the disorder, that ratio is completely skewed, what reason is there that does not highlight so clearly, gender differences. How on earth can you say there are no gender differences to the illness, women and men portray themselves differently within society unless they personally question their own genders identity which is something else entirely. Our body make ups have difference, the chemical balances are different, I can make a baby, but he has the ingredients!!!!
What I do know, is what a privilege it is for the eye of the beholder, casting their own unique Lens upon natural beauty, can and should be. Something often missed is an awareness inwardly then outwardly appreciated, gaining insight into ones natural and not superficial beauty within their environment.The floating mountains portrayed on the Scottish lochs, with all their vibrant and dull colours combined, that hold so much history and knowledge still yet to be discovered, intrigue me. Natural beauty adheres to the laws of nature, defying in some senses, what is deemed humanly, scientifically impossible (buzz buzz) within our current scope and understandings on all things relating to life, a bit like humanity.
An exquisitely natural, picturesque moment that is a visually treasurable beauty inspires. I believe it entices the best inner reflection to naturally empathise with ones’ self, and others. When mother nature is at her finest, where the natural, living and breathing cycles of life go about their daily business is what matters. Getting caught up on what might never happen, can and more often than not, alters the path and can mentally and physically block one’s self, from seeking out the purpose and version of life they truly desire
Down by the bonnie lochs of Scotland, I believe you can gain insight in such a vibrantly passionate way, through the spectrum of life in all its colours and glory. Through energetic connections, that can be truly invigorated, taught through one’s own senses and through those willing to share, teach or be taught, to see the world differently or in a way unique to the individual.
I know many who don’t just see dirt, bugs and a whole lot of anxious reactions. I was, and can still mimic this behaviour when my sensory is heightened, becoming trapped just like the types described at times, when not on super girl/loving life mode (threats versus opportunity), when does one put themselves out there? Well that is what I believe I am doing through my description and inspirations drawn from floating mountain’s and images of life
I am currently blindly navigating as I go, weighing everything up, pushing personally dynamic boundaries and practicing what I preach. Hopefully the cost gets outweighed by the strengths and opportunities to come, by putting my fearful worries about threats and unforeseen change aside, taking the risks to exploit weakness and turn them in to strengths, in an revolutionarily sense my compass should stay on course to whatever it desires most which is a consistent equilibrium, that is humanly achievable to my individual self.
When I am Lochside, the reflective floating mountains in a calm, or stormy terrain, always has me thinking what colours will I see this time? I have tried to communicate using written words, the closest truth to a mirror image reflecting myself, so to speak, as I could possibly get it.
A bit like Alice and the looking glass, I’ve just given you the mirror to see who I am. If you truly look at the person staring back at you, you’ll open the door allowing you to see my reflection, perspectives, and, outlooks, as I see them currently. Not what you are comfortable with or wanting to see, but the truth in all its colours that are not just skin deep or visible to the eye, but there to see for those who choose, they way I understand and see the world today depending on negative and positive energy.
Where energies are concerned I am least skilled and educated in expressing but excel in feeling, some that are explainable, some that are not. These allow me to cast a reflective light inside mine or your own shell, bringing one self metaphorically out from within ones own shadows, reflecting a light into the depths of your soul, captured and forever documented in your subconscious, to reflect upon the surface in a way mother nature or yourself wills at any given moment.
I naturally reflect, always have and is a skill I use daily, but requiring a brush up in technique periodically. Are you naturally reflective or do you intentionally, force yourself to be aware or avoid? So many ways that question can be answered. What meaning, or definition did you take from the word reflect? It is a very, dynamic word with so much shapely mouldable dimensions that boggle the human mind over and over, questions and answers, answers that generate more intuitive questions, that just create more questions… think I have made my point.
You may have thought of reflect in the sense that you are reflecting on an attitude, or a situation. You could be Expressing or pointing out the fact it exists, or what it’s like, revealing the true nature by displaying what is relevant. Another meaning is when heat or light reflects upon the surface, or the surface reflects upon them, they are sent back, as it can not pass through.
Many characters in sci-fi movies I believe, have been based on this notion, just that insight alone, the looking glass from a given perspective, could be the best piece of fiction you ever read. It could have so much creativity it mesmerises, or so many shock factors leaving your minds puzzled and confused but craving more. When so many variations come together the possibilities to create with the potential outcome of being something spectacularly, originally different, can produce staggering results. Even TV series have been taken to another level, with every perspective my somewhat childlike gullible mind never thought, or wanted to!! Disturbingly brilliant, a true reflection of innovation.